So this is a bittersweet post. I’m very excited but sad.
It was almost two years ago when I started writing on this blog. It helped me through the contest season, through a divorce, through transition, through good times and bad. It has helped me shape my short and long term future and has allowed me to become friends with people from around the world.
But it is time for a new chapter. I’ll still be writing here (I need a place for little league football and Seaver’s life updates). But starting tomorrow, I’ll be posting regular stuff on my new blog (please bookmark <3). I’m beginning to really try and sell my skills as a speaker, trainer, and speech coach. It will be a fun place, I won’t go and break down the State of the Union Address line by line. But it will be a place where you can read content about communicating better and skills I’ve picked up over my life.
This is a little bit of begging to eyeball, email signup, or bookmark both sites. I really enjoy writing and I needed to get my spaces cleaned and organized before I could start trying to pour myself into them. You will notice that there are a lot of my old posts already over there but going forward it will be two totally different sets of content.
A couple of weeks ago I was going to order a pizza. We were at basketball practice and I was working a backup (read non smart) phone. So I went in the gym office and took a trip back to the early 90′s and used their telephone book to look up the number. It took me forever to find the number. I was in the yellow, white, business white, and coupon sections trying to find the Domino’s number, which made me think…
Does anyone remember what life was like before the internet? Have you thought about it recently?
Normally I would pull out my droid x, google the number, and voila pizza. I read my bible online. I Facebook, I tweet, I blog, I read blogs, I look up recipes, I book flights, I pay my bills, I keep task lists, and I do life online. It is easy and convenient. I keep up with friends and family across the country as though they are in my neighborhood. I have access to virtually everything short of the bathroom.
Is all this a good thing though?
I think about my son’s generation. Will they have a clue of how to actually hold a conversation or go out on a date. Or will it be a series of texts, tweets, Facebook page posts, and emails and magically babies are popping out. Typing and keyword determining is a much more important skill than cursive and eye contact.
I like talking and communicating. There is something great about being with someone and learning about their world. Seeing their eyes blink or hearing a laugh. Those emotions just aren’t conveyed the same way with LOL’s and OMG’s.
I read somewhere, on the internet of course, about people doing technology fasts and unplugging their lives for weeks at a time. Now I’m not quite ready to call my computer the devil but I do think there is a lot of value in doing life the old-fashioned way from time to time and not relying so much on Dr. Google to diagnose your back pain or Mr. Wiki to tell you about the 15th president. I like that I can hit Pandora and get a never-ending playlist of tunes that go from Tribe Called Quest, to Colt Ford, to Bon Jovi, to Rick Ross.
So maybe I’ll just effort easing back on the internet. I don’t even know if we have an actual phone book in the house but if we do I seriously need to brush up on my skills in the event of an apocalypse.
There are few things quite as awesome as coming off the platform. Tonight was a good night. Preparing, practicing, and delivering a good speech is an amazing process. Sometimes it goes well and sometimes its just ok. There are no guarantees. Sometimes an audience gets your humor and sometimes they don’t. Stories that hot home with one group fall on deaf ears at another locations. As a science it is inexact at best.
I put the work in though, with no guarantees that it will work out. Every once in a while though I hit a home run. So I’ll just enjoy the trip around the bases. And I’ll try to remember this the next time it’s not too good.
I live in the south; like south of the Mason-Dixon line; like south of the north! One of the good things about living in the south is the weather. Even the winter is fairly moderate and there are very few days that are bone chilling and usually they are followed by 60 degree temperatures the next day. Apparently someone forgot to tell 2011 that happy fact! We have spent the better part of the week SNOWED IN! Here in Athens we got a record 8.8″ of snow! Then there was the sleet and freezing rain which laid the foundation for the ice skating rink that has covered the town for 5 days.
Snow isn’t all bad. The first day was great! We did the best we could to bundle up and get out and enjoy the snow. We threw snowballs, made snow angels, and created kool aide snow slushies. The first day was fun…days two, three, and forever…not so much.
The thing with being snowed in and having a very active seven-year old boy restricted to your living room for most of the day breeds cabin fever. It also gave a lot of time to read and think and chill (both literally and physically). I guess it was not bad to have this happen at the beginning of a year and let me marinade on what the rest of this year has to offer.
I’ve got big plans for 2011! I have to ask myself if 15 days into the calendar am I headed in the right direction to accomplish my goals? Have I started laying foundations for the biggest ones, researching the ones I need help on, and acting on the smaller, short-term goals? The reality is that I am probably about 50%. Which I guess is better than 25% but it is still brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! It really isn’t the weather’s fault nor is it because I’m “too busy”. I just haven’t done the work. No to be fair, it isn’t realistic to be 100% but it is also super slacker to only be at 50% too.
I was having coffee with some good friends a few weeks ago and they were asking me “what do you want your life to look like?”. The fact is, I didn’t have a good answer. I had some higher level goals (financial stability, happiness, being a good father) but the picture was really muddy. I’m a type A, super planner by nature. I love to create a spreadsheet and weigh the pros and cons. I love to check things off a list and I love to make plans. Somewhere in the last four or five years I have become pretty lame at executing the plans. There have been a lot of 50% efforts.
Maybe a week in the deep freeze was exactly what I needed. I got to spend a little time looking at what I really am trying to accomplish and more time getting hit in the face with the sobering news that I’m not actively trying to accomplish most of it. That realization was much more chilling than anything the snow could have presented. One of my list items is to write more and another is to build a new website. So that makes for easy accountability because it is easily tracked. So guys, kick my butt and help me be a better blogger and stay tuned for something totally different on the new website!
Ciao
SK
We didn't build it, but it was a well done snowman!
The last two weeks of any year is always a wild ride for me. In the final two weeks of a year, I get a year older (18th), more in debt (25th), and one year closer to forever and further away from ago (1st). Add to all of that the fact that my mother, who died when I was 17, was a Christmas baby and my holiday season is always very emotional.
So here 2010 comes to a close. I guess I could be super reflective and go over all the mess I learned in this year. Or I could go the other direction and list off a bunch of resolutions and changes. But both of them don’t do much for the only thing that matters, which is right now.
The fact is that I have a pretty good life. It is far from the world I had a couple of years ago and light years away from my dreams, but in the grand scheme of things I’m blessed. Of course I need to lose weight, be better with money, be a better parent, be more generous, and figure out a cure for cancer. But don’t we all? Aren’t most resolutions just stuff we should do anyways, so why make a grand production?
2010 was a challenge and one that I will definitely never forget. A lot of it really sucked and a lot of it was amazing. But I really can’t explain it all in 300 words or less, so this isn’t really the place for that either.
So I take another deep, deep breath and exhale slowly. I will enjoy this moment. And this moment will change over and over throughout the year but the more deep breaths I take and the more I keep the moments in perspective, those moments will be amazing. Even when they are difficult, they are mine and my life is precious and blessed, and therefore amazing.
This is such an amazing time of year. Families are getting together, presents are being exchanged, traditions are being established, and generally everyone is merry.
In my personal circles we use the term “season of life” to describe where someone is in their world. This could be high school or college, young couple, empty nest, job transition, or anything. It is said that seasons change:
In the same way that winter comes to an end so does the time of raising young children, starting a new job, or getting remarried. Have you ever been in a season that felt like it was 20 winters long? It is always the great seasons that seem to be the shortest. When you are in adverse conditions it is so, so long and the light at the end of the tunnel is so, so faint.
I am notoriously not a huge holiday season fan. It is just too big and too showy. All the presents and traveling and fruit cake confuses the true meanings of this time of year. This year I’m particularly bah humbug on the season because frankly it has been a yucky year. Life transition has totally kicked my tail. I don’t think I have ever been more excited to see the calendar turn. Now this season hasn’t been all bad. I’ve found who in the world really loves me and has my back and I’ve found my spirit. I’ve strengthened my relationship with God and my spirit is really lifted. As in any cold winter, there are rainy days. As in any scalding summer, there are cool evenings sitting on the porch. Those bright spots were great and they have gotten me through this.
OK stop crying.
So as I wind down 2010, I am looking forward to this next chapter. I’m not getting any younger and I don’t have nearly as many seasons left as I did ten years ago. This is not a time to preach resolutions or sweeping life change but rather to think about coming out of the dark winter. And to appreciate that in order to have spring, I must have that winter. So that’s what I’ll do.
So here I am going into a whole new world of blogging, I’m writing this post mobile. First of all it is silly they I even have a blog let alone that I can swype an entry on my phone. So this opens a new chapter on my evolution.
There are a couple of limitations with doing this on a 4 inch screen. But even with those limits this opens a world of instant thoughts and short ramblings. Technology is awesome!
I was sitting with some friends the other day and the topic of careers came up. One friend is being coveting for his skills and another is very successful in his business. As the discussion shifted to me it was directed to what I want to be doing. As I explained my background, success, and desire to be a speaker I could see the confusion on their faces.
“People actually do this for a living?”
“Can you make any money doing this?”
“Who would you work for?”
“What do you talk about?”
“Where would you speak?”
Luckily for me I had answers for most of these questions. Over the past six weeks I have pulled out all my “speaking business” materials. The stacks of books, pdfs, e-courses, contacts, notes, and youtube clips that I have collected over the past few years. The speaking profession is a noble one. In your back yard there are probably more than a few professional speakers in your community. In a college town many professors and researchers travel the world sharing their expertise. Many business people speak at local community organizations for small fees to help promote their business. Numerous churches have guest speakers come in every Sunday to give their pastors a week off. There are thousands of working speakers in the US. Though it is a business that few people rarely think of as viable.
As I look at my resume I see several jobs. Most of them in sales or something similar. Many times I’ve been some type of manager or supervisor. And many of those times it ends up not working out. A lot of times I moved up the ladder or took some type of promotion, but some times I was just tired of doing what I was doing. The beauty of life is that wherever you go you are always with you. I’m the common denominator in both the good and the bad career transitions.
I have several super successful friends from my childhood. One of the common denominators is that most of them have always known what they wanted to do, whether it was being a doctor, lawyer, film maker, or educator. I remember being five or six years old coming home from church and preaching away. I participated in my first speech contest in the third grade (it was a complete disaster). I always enjoyed getting up in front of classes and doing presentations and book reports. But just like my friends, I didn’t realize that there was actually a job associated with giving speeches. So as a middle-aged salesman trying to support his young son, I am trying to make an intentional change in my professional direction.
If you haven’t recently tried to learn a business from scratch go to the library and read a few books. Talent is far from enough to make it in any business. There are probably thousands of bands touring Georgia right now that are talented enough to have a record deal but the music business is about more but talent. So as I try to polish my talent and learn the business side of speaking I move forward with optimism I look forward to writing and posting more speaking highlights. But for now it is off to work on a speech for a campus ministry group.
So tonight for dinner I made a patty melt. Anyone that knows me in real life realizes that I am a horrible cook. I try to keep it really simple. So how difficult can a cheeseburger with onions really be. Another one of my food issues is that I take a lot of care in place my condiments. They need to go in a specific order and look a specific way (I know, I hear the OCD phone ringing). So as I was preparing my sandwich I reached for some spicy brown mustard and as I squeezed I got the worst thing ever…
That yucky mustard water substance that does nothing but make the bread wet. It took me a moment to regroup, shake the bottle, brush the water off, and continue my dinner. A perfectly good sandwich was almost ruined by a little wet surprise. I hate it when that happens.
I guess this isn’t really about the mustard or the mustard juice or the meal at all. Really it is just a metaphor of disappointment. I was so excited to bite into my patty melt. It looked good and I was hungry and then all of a sudden it wasn’t quite as good anymore because it was wet instead of properly condimented. Now I did eat it and it was good but for that snapshot in time, I was down.
I think we all have those snapshots a lot more often than we choose to recognize. Whether it is when your team looses (and lately that has been waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much) or actually something serious concerning a family member or your job, we face these disappointments all the time. Now most of us don’t really have time to reflect and deal with them. When you are sad you missed a two-day sale at Kohl’s and your shirt just went up five dollars you still have to get the groceries, clean the bathroom, and get to the lunch appointment on time. Dwelling on the missed sale is probably inappropriate and a waste of time. But are we desensitizing ourselves to being down and sad.
I know that I hate sad. A big part of my personal struggles revolve around covering up my sadness. I have drowned myself in partying, work, and fantasy sports over the years to help “medicate” my sad. I have heard more than a few times in life “why can’t you just sit in it?”. It is very hard for me to just be in a funk. So rather than be funky, there are so many times in my life that I have chosen to gloss over the emotion. This is a great way to deal with things except for the fact that I’m not really dealing with things. And not dealing with things has a way of a) making them get bigger and b) having them continue to occur. So instead of making things better a lot of times I make things worse.
When I was younger a UGA football loss would be devastating. I would be sad, mad, frustrated, and upset. For some reason I thought the best way to deal with this disappointment was to find my way to the bottom of a bottle many times and drown my sorrows. As info, it doesn’t work. The first problem is that I had absolutely nothing to do with the game outcome and was taking it as if I made the fumble. The second problem was that my team will always loose again at some point. My process for dealing with the pain was quite flawed.
Now I don’t think that the losses bother me less now that I’m older, but with a little wisdom and perspective I no longer fish for victories in the bottom of a pitcher of beer. I make Facebook posts and call the sports talk radio station and vent with friends. Small steps but steps that allow me to get out of me that which drives me to make bad decisions in response to college kids missing a field goal.
This is a small and somewhat silly example but it is similar to how I have dealt with many things in my life. I have also noticed many of my friends and family coping with things in their own ways to get over the hurt. Some drink, some smoke, some run, some surf the web, and some read. Non of these items by themselves are bad but so many of us do them rather than “just sit in it”.
So how about this for an open forum…
If you are sitting in something, feel free to post it. You can go anonymous if you like, but feel free to put it out there. It may just be the first step in easing the pain. And I’ll go first (but you will have to read the comments to see what I said).
I made my somewhat annual pilgrimage to see my high school play our cross town rival tonight. In the interest of full disclosure, I love high school football. I think it is some of the best entertainment going today and I will watch the oddest teams that I don’t have any connection to play in person and on tv (yes I realize there are pills for this). Now this was far from a good game. My alma mater took a 41-12 beating and it wasn’t really that close. Seaver and I sat and cheered and enjoyed being out on a wonderful night.
One of the things about living in my home town is being able to run into old friends and teachers on a regular basis. This annual game changes that dynamic and brings people out of the woodwork. I saw my friend “g-money”, a guy named “cake daddy”, and plenty of “nard’s” and “dre’s”. These are my people.
Being back at the old stomping grounds brings back so many memories of my childhood. Seeing all these old faces just brings stories back up and we constantly ask “have you seen x” or “what’s up with y” as we try to keep our old and new worlds pieced together. So I am wondering…how old is old school?
I mean I know that my musical taste is old school. this is proved by the fact that 80% of the songs I hear on the radio sound the same to me. Yes ladies and gentleman, I am wondering where all the “good music” has gone. Just like your father said to you…
I also know that most of the movies I really love are old school. As funny as The Hangover was, I’ll take 7 different Eddie Murphy movies over it. And I will watch Boomerang or Friday over and over and never stop laughing the whole time.
Anyone that has read this blog at all knows how much I love football. I am even old school with my football tastes. As much as “modern” college football is all about these fancy offenses that throw the ball all over the place, I like 1980 football. Line up and run it and play good defense.
But I think we are all old school. Maybe nostalgic is the right word for it. People love 80′s music and Tv Land and reruns of the Dukes of Hazzard. People love to go back to where they came from and to reminisce about the good old days. We take pictures, make scrapbooks, write stories, record on video, bookmark, and permanently imprint moments of our past so as to be able to recall them in our future.
We all know that we couldn’t be here without everything that happens in our past. I’m sure we all have our regrets, but they pale in comparison to all the amazing old school moments that make you smile.
I remember sitting in my friend Dan’s apartment and watching almost every great rap video ever made.
I remember setting up my grandfather’s vcr so we would have a catalog of all the Cosby Show episodes.
I remember fat shoe laces, the Reebok pump shoe, Jordan’s free throw line dunk , must see tv, new Coke, the Bud Bowl, and countless other things that Gen X would roll their eyes at.
As old school as these things are, they are mine. They are my past and my history and the soundtrack and canvas to which all my memories are formed on. These things have been there to make me happy and console me when I was down. There have been road trips, funerals, parties, and quiet moments that would have been incomplete without some old school flavor thrown in there.
The fact that my hips pop in the morning is not a positive by-product of aging. But the ability to look back and be proud of being old school definitely is.
