Transparency

Who really knows you?

Mom/Dad

Wife

BFF

Your phone

We all walk through this world daily looking at people, meeting people, working with people, and loving people.  Most of us are very guarded in what parts of us that we allow people to see.  The fancy trick that I use is I tell you a bunch of stuff up front that makes you think I’m open, but in reality its just enough stuff so you don’t ask anymore questions and I can protect myself (and there goes my ancient Chinese secret).

Part of this journey I’m taking now is losing some pounds and inches but another part of it involves finding myself.  I believe in order to find myself I need to be fairly transparent with where I am and who I am as I write this chronicle.  I could create a super cool persona and live in that fantasy, but what good will that really do me.  So here’s some of my crap.

I’m 40

I’m divorced

I’ve attended sexaholics anonymous before

I sleep on a couch in my parents home

I lost virtually everything I worked for due to years of bad, selfish decisions

I had most of my pain by being loud and funny

I’m really very sensitive

I drive my ex-wife’s old minivan because I haven’t been able to afford to get another car

I cry a lot

I’m a comic book nerd

I pray constantly

I love my phone (and technology as a whole)

School came easy for me but I was a horrible student

I feel inadequate around most of my friends because of their lives and success

I was the first of my friends to get married and now I’m the only one of my friends that is single

I floss a lot

I have HORRIBLE skin

I haven’t taken a real vacation to somewhere I wanted to go in 15 years

My biggest fear is failure

I worry my son will develop all of my bad traits/habits

I’m scared to become my father

Sports make me happy

I love being a dad, I just wish I had the capacity to do more for him

I’m a picky eater

I lost my mom when I was 17

My 30’s were generally horrible and as much as I was scared of 40 I’m looking forward to the decade

 

I could probably go on and on but then I’d lose the few readers I have, so I’ll just stop there.  If there’s anything you want to be internet transparent about, comment below.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I feel better

 

Ciao

SK

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