Category Archives: Temporary


I live in the south; like south of the Mason-Dixon line; like south of the north!  One of the good things about living in the south is the weather.  Even the winter is fairly moderate and there are very few days that are bone chilling and usually they are followed by 60 degree temperatures the next day.  Apparently someone forgot to tell 2011 that happy fact!  We have spent the better part of the week SNOWED IN!  Here in Athens we got a record 8.8″ of snow!  Then there was the sleet and freezing rain which laid the foundation for the ice skating rink that has covered the town for 5 days.

Snow isn’t all bad.  The first day was great! We did the best we could to bundle up and get out and enjoy the snow.  We threw snowballs, made snow angels, and created kool aide snow slushies.  The first day was fun…days two, three, and forever…not so much.

The thing with being snowed in and having a very active seven-year old boy restricted to your living room for most of the day breeds cabin fever.  It also gave a lot of time to read and think and chill (both literally and physically).  I guess it was not bad to have this happen at the beginning of a year and let me marinade on what the rest of this year has to offer.

I’ve got big plans for 2011!  I have to ask myself if 15 days into the calendar am I headed in the right direction to accomplish my goals?  Have I started laying foundations for the biggest ones, researching the ones I need help on, and acting on the smaller, short-term goals?  The reality is that I am probably about 50%.  Which I guess is better than 25% but it is still brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!   It really isn’t the weather’s fault nor is it because I’m “too busy”.  I just haven’t done the work.  No to be fair, it isn’t realistic to be 100% but it is also super slacker to only be at 50% too.

I was having coffee with some good friends a few weeks ago and they were asking me “what do you want your life to look like?”.  The fact is, I didn’t have a good answer.  I had some higher level goals (financial stability, happiness, being a good father) but the picture was really muddy.  I’m a type A, super planner by nature.  I love to create a spreadsheet and weigh the pros and cons.  I love to check things off a list and I love to make plans.  Somewhere in the last four or five years I have become pretty lame at executing the plans.  There have been a lot of 50% efforts.

Maybe a week in the deep freeze was exactly what I needed.  I got to spend a little time looking at what I really am trying to accomplish and more time getting hit in the face with the sobering news that I’m not actively trying to accomplish most of it.  That realization was much more chilling than anything the snow could have presented.  One of my list items is to write more and another is to build a new website.  So that makes for easy accountability because it is easily tracked.  So guys, kick my butt and help me be a better blogger and stay tuned for something totally different on the new website!



We didn't build it, but it was a well done snowman!

‘Tis the Season

Sleighbells ring, are you listening?

This is such an amazing time of year.  Families are getting together, presents are being exchanged, traditions are being established, and generally everyone is merry.

In my personal circles we use the term “season of life” to describe where someone is in their world.  This could be high school or college, young couple, empty nest, job transition, or anything.  It is said that seasons change:

In the same way that winter comes to an end so does the time of raising young children, starting a new job, or getting remarried.  Have you ever been in a season that felt like it was 20 winters long?  It is always the great seasons that seem to be the shortest.  When you are in adverse conditions it is so, so long and the light at the end of the tunnel is so, so faint.

I am notoriously not a huge holiday season fan.  It is just too big and too showy.  All the presents and traveling and fruit cake confuses the true meanings of this time of year.  This year I’m particularly bah humbug on the season because frankly it has been a yucky year.  Life transition has totally kicked my tail.  I don’t think I have ever been more excited to see the calendar turn.  Now this season hasn’t been all bad.  I’ve found who in the world really loves me and has my back and I’ve found my spirit.  I’ve strengthened my relationship with God and my spirit is really lifted.  As in any cold winter, there are rainy days.  As in any scalding summer, there are cool evenings sitting on the porch.  Those bright spots were great and they have gotten me through this.

OK stop crying.

So as I wind down 2010, I am looking forward to this next chapter.  I’m not getting any younger and I don’t have nearly as many seasons left as I did ten years ago.  This is not a time to preach resolutions or sweeping life change but rather to think about coming out of the dark winter.  And to appreciate that in order to have spring, I must have that winter.  So that’s what I’ll do.





Mustard juice, ewwwwww!

So tonight for dinner I made a patty melt.  Anyone that knows me in real life realizes that I am a horrible cook.  I try to keep it really simple.  So how difficult can a cheeseburger with onions really be.  Another one of my food issues is that I take a lot of care in place my condiments.  They need to go in a specific order and look a specific way (I know, I hear the OCD phone ringing).  So as I was preparing my sandwich I reached for some spicy brown mustard and as I squeezed I got the worst thing ever…


That yucky mustard water substance that does nothing but make the bread wet.  It took me a moment to regroup, shake the bottle, brush the water off, and continue my dinner.  A perfectly good sandwich was almost ruined by a little wet surprise.  I hate it when that happens.

I guess this isn’t really about the mustard or the mustard juice or the meal at all.  Really it is just a metaphor of disappointment.  I was so excited to bite into my patty melt.  It looked good and I was hungry and then all of a sudden it wasn’t quite as good anymore because it was wet instead of properly condimented.  Now I did eat it and it was good but for that snapshot in time, I was down.

I think we all have those snapshots a lot more often than we choose to recognize.  Whether it is when your team looses (and lately that has been waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much) or actually something serious concerning a family member or your job, we face these disappointments all the time.  Now most of us don’t really have time to reflect and deal with them.  When you are sad you missed a two-day sale at Kohl’s and your shirt just went up five dollars you still have to get the groceries, clean the bathroom, and get to the lunch appointment on time.  Dwelling on the missed sale is probably inappropriate and a waste of time.  But are we desensitizing ourselves to being down and sad.

I know that I hate sad.  A big part of my personal struggles revolve around covering up my sadness.  I have drowned myself in partying, work, and fantasy sports over the years to help “medicate” my sad.  I have heard more than a few times in life “why can’t you just sit in it?”.  It is very hard for me to just be in a funk.  So rather than be funky, there are so many times in my life that I have chosen to gloss over the emotion.  This is a great way to deal with things except for the fact that I’m not really dealing with things.  And not dealing with things has a way of a) making them get bigger and b) having them continue to occur.  So instead of making things better a lot of times I make things worse.

When I was younger a UGA football loss would be devastating.  I would be sad, mad, frustrated, and upset.  For some reason I thought the best way to deal with this disappointment was to find my way to the bottom of a bottle many times and drown my sorrows.  As info, it doesn’t work.  The first problem is that I had absolutely nothing to do with the game outcome and was taking it as if I made the fumble.  The second problem was that my team will always loose again at some point.  My process for dealing with the pain was quite flawed.

Now I don’t think that the losses bother me less now that I’m older, but with a little wisdom and perspective I no longer fish for victories in the bottom of a pitcher of beer.  I make Facebook posts and call the sports talk radio station and vent with friends.  Small steps but steps that allow me to get out of me that which drives me to make bad decisions in response to college kids missing a field goal.

This is a small and somewhat silly example but it is similar to how I have dealt with many things in my life.  I have also noticed many of my friends and family coping with things in their own ways to get over the hurt.  Some drink, some smoke, some run, some surf the web, and some read.  Non of these items by themselves are bad but so many of us do them rather than “just sit in it”.

So how about this for an open forum…

If you are sitting in something, feel free to post it.  You can go anonymous if you like, but feel free to put it out there.  It may just be the first step in easing the pain.  And I’ll go first (but you will have to read the comments to see what I said).



Don’t call it a comeback…

…I’ve been here for years.  Well maybe not quite years, but it was a good title to jump back into this thing.

Ok so I know you have all been sitting on pins and needles waiting to see what kind of brilliance I come up with (here is where you yawn or laugh or stop reading).  I’ve been in the basement.  Well not the literal basement but the basement of life.  And not super depressed basement, just off the grid.  Sometimes in life we have to stop and change direction and sometimes, life changes it for you.  Life decided to make it happen for me this time.

Saving everyone from all the details, I’ve had a family change, a housing change, a job change, and a perspective change.  Through all that I have come to one great conclusion…


Hence I’m repurposing this blog.  I tried to make it fit a niche before and now I’m going to let the niche be me.  Carlos Whittaker’s blog is awesome.  He is real and authentic and all over the place.  He is true to who he is and still gets his message across.  So I’ll give doing just me a shot.  So sometimes you are going to get sports posts and sometimes you are going to get life posts and sometimes it is going to be about tv or books or politics or whatever in the world you get.    But all of these things are temporary but at the same time temporary is forever.

We all know life is a journey.  But I’ve learned over the last year that journey is nothing more than a lot of moments.  It is those moments that make it fun, depressing, exciting, exhilarating, and sometimes frustrating.  But when we are in those moments, they feel like forever.  So here I am, in this moment, contemplating forever…

So who knows what you are about to get.  I just hope you come back and sign up for updates and keep reading.  I actually like doing this, it keeps my creative juices flowing.  Please return your tray tables and seat backs to their full upright and locked positions, we are about to land!

Oh yeah, enjoy the original…