Tag Archives: Life coaching

Day 3

Things are going just swimmingly here in Fast-ville.

There really isn’t anything major to report.  I think I’ve gotten through all the hunger issues and generally feel like I’m in the routine of things.  I timed my workout perfectly today, I had just enough gas in the tank to finish the workout without feeling hungry or stretched.

My big discovery from day 3 is my mental clarity.  There were times during the day that I felt as though my brain was going at a faster speed than the rest of the world and I was able to process things faster and more clearly.  It was pretty cool.

Day 4 will be interesting as we cut from 8 juices a day back to 6 and we will be changing our flavors and varieties.  The weekend should be fun and I’ll be full of info on Monday.







As I recall from my childhood, summer usually went from the first week of June until Labor Day.  It seemed like it was forever.  This year schools were out by mid-May and are returning to school the first week of August.  This summer has flown by with an extra pace because of the events…


High school student death #1

Broken window in-car

State tournament baseball finals

College World Series

Broken wrist

High school student death #2

Visit from China

Loss of projector in the PB

Baseball tryout

Loss of a dog

Death of high school teacher


Now I’m sure that everyone had plenty of stuff happen this summer as well, but for some reason it seems as though mine has flown by at an even more break neck pace.  Summer flew by in a flash.  So now as the weather considers cooling off a bit I need to put my hands back on the wheel a little bit and slow this boat down.  I’ve learned this summer that Crossfit is too hard for me, that my train wreck relational history can actually help people, that my son is no longer a little boy and totally a young man, and that our company is going to do amazing things in the future.

2014 is winding down and I need to come up with some things to accomplish that don’t involve fantasy football, tailgating, and playing Xbox.  So I’ll spend the next few days/posts to talk about a few goals and put them out there in writing and let’s see how much I suck or don’t suck come 1/1/15.





Are you called?

Typically people are “called”into ministry.  I don’t know if God actually dials their number or if he sends a postcard.  Apparently people wait to get that call to know they are supposed to go into professional religion.

What about the rest of us?

Do fireman get a visit from their heavenly father in a flake retardant suit?

I believe that God gives us all gifts.  Sometimes it’s cool stuff like singing or hitting a baseball and sometimes it’s biting stuff like proofreading and breast feeding.  We don’t ask for these gifts they are just in our DNA.  We see our children and their gifts, but how hard is it to see our own gifts?

The fact is your gift probably isn’t flipping burgers, answering the phone, or digging ditches (if it is, that’s not your only gift), but we all like to eat and sleep indoors.  So for eight plus hours a day we work at non gifted jobs.  I can’t imagine that’s very fulfilling.  I know it’s not enough in my life and I love my job.
Another belief of mine is that the human spirit is “called” to find the body behind the calling voice.  In essence answering the question of what is my thing or what’s my calling?  I think those dreams are what wake us up hard days.  No one oversleep a calling, but we’ll snooze a forklift shift several times.

If you know me, I love to talk.  If you really know me, you know I love to public speak.  If you are inside my brain you know that I believe that’s my calling.  I still don’t know how or when, but one day I’ll be one of those guys on a book cover.

Dream big…You can only jump as high as you set the bar.



Challenge 1: Move, Maintain, Music

So here I go on Carlos’ fit by Fourth journey.  Funding severely put a kink in my Crossfit workouts, so I’ve been taking what I learned and trying to stay active this last few weeks while my bank account becomes more accepting of my physical needs (probably for the best as well, I know I was on the line of pushing too far and hurting myself).

To start the journey it was a simple 3 day, 3 step challenge:


The challenge here was to simply move more than you normally would and to not do anything that you really don’t like to do as part one and then to complete a fitness challenge in part two.  With it being a weekend baseball tournament, I usually sit in my chair and just watch my son play, but I made a point to walk…a lot…constantly.  I  don’t have a clue how long or how far, but I know I did a lot more activity this weekend than any other tournament weekend all fall.

40 air squats

30 sit ups

20 push ups

10 burpees

Lots of heavy breathing and tight muscles

Time: 6 minutes and 24 seconds.

This will be our baseline workout to measure our progress.  I’d love to get a minute off this time over this seven weeks.



This part of the challenge was simple.  Maintain your diet.  I’ve always believed that it is way too hard to try to change multiple things about your life at the same time, so I’m very pro not going salad only.  The challenge, though, was to record what I ate for the weekend.

  • Friday
    • Egg & cheese sandwich
    • Chicken burrito with Rice
    • Ham & turkey sandwich and chips
  • Saturday (Isnacked on chips  andpowerade a lot this day being at the park)
    • Breakfast scramble (biscuit, gravy, peppers, cheese)
    • Hot dog, chips, soda
    • Cheeseburger and fries from the grill
  • Sunday
    • Sausage burrito from McDonald’s and a giant soda
    • Chicken nuggets
    • Bacon cheeseburger and fries from Wendy’s

I realize the biggest room for weight loss and health improvement is my diet.  I’m looking forward to hearing what Los has to say about the diet portion.



Carlos is a worship leader, and a very good one.  Step three was to come up with a song or two or three or three million that is your all time go to jam for getting pumped up.  I as well love music and studied it in college.  Just picking one song is about impossible, but this one has gotten me over several humps throughout the years.



Challenge one COMPLETE!

On to round  two.








‘Tis the Season

Sleighbells ring, are you listening?

This is such an amazing time of year.  Families are getting together, presents are being exchanged, traditions are being established, and generally everyone is merry.

In my personal circles we use the term “season of life” to describe where someone is in their world.  This could be high school or college, young couple, empty nest, job transition, or anything.  It is said that seasons change:

In the same way that winter comes to an end so does the time of raising young children, starting a new job, or getting remarried.  Have you ever been in a season that felt like it was 20 winters long?  It is always the great seasons that seem to be the shortest.  When you are in adverse conditions it is so, so long and the light at the end of the tunnel is so, so faint.

I am notoriously not a huge holiday season fan.  It is just too big and too showy.  All the presents and traveling and fruit cake confuses the true meanings of this time of year.  This year I’m particularly bah humbug on the season because frankly it has been a yucky year.  Life transition has totally kicked my tail.  I don’t think I have ever been more excited to see the calendar turn.  Now this season hasn’t been all bad.  I’ve found who in the world really loves me and has my back and I’ve found my spirit.  I’ve strengthened my relationship with God and my spirit is really lifted.  As in any cold winter, there are rainy days.  As in any scalding summer, there are cool evenings sitting on the porch.  Those bright spots were great and they have gotten me through this.

OK stop crying.

So as I wind down 2010, I am looking forward to this next chapter.  I’m not getting any younger and I don’t have nearly as many seasons left as I did ten years ago.  This is not a time to preach resolutions or sweeping life change but rather to think about coming out of the dark winter.  And to appreciate that in order to have spring, I must have that winter.  So that’s what I’ll do.





“A perfect opportunity”




The national company

Q:  What do these things all have in common?

A:  Someone has offered me all these “opportunities” in the last calendar year.

For those of you that know me you know that I like to talk.  And with that talking comes a lot of friends.  I know a lot of people from all over the place and I love meeting new ones.  People are FASCINATING!  One of the byproducts of my natural “chatty-cathy doll” syndrome is I am often a target for network marketers (and life insurance companies too).  I have the one resource that network marketers covet and that is friends and I would really like to keep these people as my friends and not make every contact a “sales call”.  But the latest offer got me to thinking about my opportunity and my resources.

Being that I am still searching for full-time work, getting a lot of “no-fee” speaking engagements, and generally not contributing much to the gross national product, I lose sight sometimes of the opportunities that I have.  Lemons and lemonade get old after a while, but it is always a combination that works.

Because of the time that I had after loosing my job I was able to really focus on the speech contest-Lemonade

Because I am flexible with my time I get to get my son off the bus from school-Lemonade

Because I have developed an ability on the platform I am getting invited to do more speaking-Lemonade

These are all opportunities that have presented themselves BECAUSE I don’t have a “normal” job.  Opportunities exist everywhere, everyday.  And a lot of those opportunities are there because of something that does not appear to be positive.  We all have opportunities around us that are not being realized and utilized.

The earth is overflowing with natural resources and so are you.  In my world I have faith, a supportive and loving family, my natural gift of gab, and 1100 Facebook friends. Just like mother nature provides the fuels and food to keep this amazing planet spinning, my resources keep my tank on full and keep me moving forward.  My grandmother used to always tell me to count my blessings and in the world, in this economy we should all take a minute to do so more often than we do.

I am sure that in the next three or four months, someone will offer me another “perfect opportunity”.  I always let the marketer finish their phone call before I politely let them know that I am not interested.  But in the time between here and there I need to take a close look at the “perfect opportunity” that already exists in my own back yard.  I am blessed beyond words, I just have to follow granny’s advise more often to realize it.



What do you love?

Let’s assume the obvious.   We all love:







Big Macs

Now that we have pulled back the obvious list, what’s left?

What really gets inside your heart and moves you to action?

What makes you smile?

For me, one of the things I really love is being a youth coach.  And when my son started playing sports I had no desire to coach.  I wanted to be involved.  I wanted to be at every practice but I never wanted to be the guy.  It started with helping with baseball.

I grew up playing baseball and Seaver seemed to have some natural ability in the sport and t-ball is like cat herding, you need a lot of hands to keep them under control.  Somewhere in the middle of that season, I fell in love with those kids.  I loved watching them get better, I loved being there when they did something new,  and I just loved being a big kid with them.  It was awesome.

As fun as baseball was, is, and will continue to be; for me it pails in comparison to football.

Last summer Seaver mentioned that he wanted to play football and I was concerned.  I thought he was too little and too young.  We knew he had an opportunity to play football with some of his friends and decided to give it a shot.  The first few weeks was very difficult.  But about a week before the first game, it started to get fun.  And the more fun it got for him, the more involved I became.  I never really was a formal “coach” last season, but I was at almost every practice, was on the sidelines, and got to know all those kids and watch them grow and get better.

This year I was much more involved with baseball and I have the pleasure of being the head coach for our football team this year.  And it is far from an easy task.  One parent sent me an email recently thanking me for my involvement and dedication to the kids.  As I was reading it all I could think about was, “What else would I be doing?”.  Most of my great male role models growing up were my coaches.  I am lucky that all my kids have fathers involved in their lives but I learned first hand last year how influential a coach can be on a  young child and I take that responsibility seriously.

As much as I want to win, that is not what is important.  I get the privilege of teaching these young men a great game and watching them grow up before my eyes.  They learn respect, teamwork, discipline, and how to deal with adversity.  Football teaches so many life lessons for both them and me.

Find something you love.  Coaching, needlepoint, serving the homeless, landscaping, or surfing.

Find something that lights your fire and that you can’t wait for the next time you can do it

Find something that you can tell your friends and family about and it lights you up every time you talk about it.

Find something you love and pour your heart into it.

And don’t forget when you find that something, you also need to pour that same kind of love into the list of things that we all love.



What are you going to do with your life?

If there is a harder question to answer, I don’t know what it is.  I have friends that have always known they wanted to be doctors, lawyers, and movie makers; and I often envy them.  How much easier is it to find your way, when you have a clear destination in mind?  It must feel great to only have to go to college, do well, get into medical school, do well, do a million hours of residency, and then be a doctor.  And it has to be somewhat settling when you discover that’s your path when you are 13 or 14 years old.  

But what about the rest of us?

What happens when you take a job and then another job and another?  

And then you look around and you are 30 or 40 or 50 and still just doing a job.  

And there is honor in all work.  It is so impressive the types of things that people do to support their families.  But at 50 should you really be trying to figure out what you want to be when you are grown up?

This is the part where I am supposed to tell some great story about how I was lost and now have this amazing career and everything is perfect professionally.  And maybe one day I will, but that’s just not the case.  

I am you.  

I am the hard working customer service agent that wants to be a writer.

I am the law enforcement officer that really would love to own a restaurant.

I am the sales person that really doesn’t know what she wants to do, but is sure that selling cellphones or copiers is not it.

I am the person that stayed at their job for 25 years and then they closed the doors and I have to start over. 

I am every one of those wild dreams you had when you were 12 but never thought they could come true.  

It is a lot easier to have dreams than to chase them.  And my point is not that everyone pick up today, forget your responsibilities, and become a trail guide; but I do think its important to take a look inside and see if you can answer the question.  And to test yourself even further, look back in your life and see if you are where you were supposed to be.  

We are all DOING something with our lives.  And most people are trying to do well.  We work hard, spend time with family, search for inner peace, and generally try to be good people.  A lot of these actions are passive.  You just do them because you always have.  They are very important to you and your existence but they are not DO’s.  

Do is an action word.  

Life is about action.

So what are you doing?  Who are you doing it with?  What would you like to be doing?  Where are you doing it?  Does doing it make you proud and happy?  Do you want to be doing something else?  

There are so many amazing people in this world with talent that is only limited by their own minds.  Before you limit yourself to doing the job that you have always done, isn’t it worth looking at what you could DO if you simply decided to try and DO it.  



Two questions

When I lost my job on January 8 I was shocked and really had no idea what I was going to do.  Here I was becoming a statistic of an ever increasing unemployment rate.  The most important thing at that moment was the support my wife gave me.  She was such a calming force and in my corner from day one.  Financially I knew we would be OK with only her salary and unemployment benefits, but that doesn’t satisfy my own inner desires to be a productive member of society.  

As I started to look at my resume and examine my life skills I came to a startling conclusion…

I had done a horrible job of MAKING a career.  What I had done for most of my life had been totally reactionary.  When I needed a job, I looked for one and took what seemed to be the best thing at the time.  That process had produced some fairly good results as I had performed very well at most of the positions that I held as an adult.  But when I looked at my skills with a honest and objective eye I really saw that I really had very little input into the last 15 years of work.  Or to be more accurate, I had not succeed or failed at a career plan because I did not have a career plan.  

So now what?

One of the things that a friend asked me when we were discussing potential careers was “What gets you up in the morning?”.  Some would say “What drives/motivates you?”.  As I stared blindly back at him I wondered to myself why didn’t I have an easy answer.  Now to further explain this moment we were specifically talking about careers.  My faith and family are my driving factors for living my life, but I didn’t have a true professional passion.  I often admired my friends that always wanted to be doctors, lawyers, and film makers.  The only thing that I always wanted to do was be a good dad.  And at that moment it struck me.  

I have long lamented that one of the downfalls of American society revolves around the absentee fathers.  There are so many single mothers raising children and not enough families truly planning for their success.  In my own story there are several examples of not having a father around.  My father has 6 children by 5 different women.  My younger half brother (on my mother’s side) had a limited relationship with his father.  In my neighborhood as a child, not having dad around was the rule rather than the exception.  Could it be that what drives me and where my professional heart lies is in speaking to fathers who did not have fathers?

Another thing that I have been looking at as I search my previous job and life skills is identifying what I do best.  I am an avid sports fan and most professional athletes are what I refer to as “1 percenters”, meaning that they were born gifted in the top 1% of people with skill in their particular sport.  Many of them combined that with countless hours of work to become stars.  But 1 percenters don’t just exist in sports.  The business world is littered with people who just seem to get it.  We see singers, musicians, accountants, carpenters all with what appears to be a natural aptitude toward their particular profession.  Undoubtedly there are those that just learned to be good at a craft over years and others that are gifted in many areas.  I believe that God gives all of us specific talents that he expects us to do something with.  But yet again there is that question, “what is my 1%?”.

For those of you who do not know me personally, I love to talk.  And throughout the last few years I have discovered that I am pretty good at talking to the public.  But being pretty good and being a 1% performer are two different things.  As much as I wanted to believe I was any good, the only feedback I had was friends, family, and my toastmasters club.  But slowly over the weeks and months I started to perform outside my comfort zone.  It all finally crystalized for me at the area j international speech contest.  I finally delivered a speech that I felt was a 1% speech.  It still needed a ton of work, but it was finally something I really felt was good.  

Ladies and gentleman I hope you are in a fullfilling career that makes you happy and challenges you.  But I know that most of us are not.  What’s the next step in the process?  A good place to start is with these two simple questions…

  1. What drives you?
  2. What is your 1%?