Tag Archives: Progres

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I live in the south; like south of the Mason-Dixon line; like south of the north!  One of the good things about living in the south is the weather.  Even the winter is fairly moderate and there are very few days that are bone chilling and usually they are followed by 60 degree temperatures the next day.  Apparently someone forgot to tell 2011 that happy fact!  We have spent the better part of the week SNOWED IN!  Here in Athens we got a record 8.8″ of snow!  Then there was the sleet and freezing rain which laid the foundation for the ice skating rink that has covered the town for 5 days.

Snow isn’t all bad.  The first day was great! We did the best we could to bundle up and get out and enjoy the snow.  We threw snowballs, made snow angels, and created kool aide snow slushies.  The first day was fun…days two, three, and forever…not so much.

The thing with being snowed in and having a very active seven-year old boy restricted to your living room for most of the day breeds cabin fever.  It also gave a lot of time to read and think and chill (both literally and physically).  I guess it was not bad to have this happen at the beginning of a year and let me marinade on what the rest of this year has to offer.

I’ve got big plans for 2011!  I have to ask myself if 15 days into the calendar am I headed in the right direction to accomplish my goals?  Have I started laying foundations for the biggest ones, researching the ones I need help on, and acting on the smaller, short-term goals?  The reality is that I am probably about 50%.  Which I guess is better than 25% but it is still brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!   It really isn’t the weather’s fault nor is it because I’m “too busy”.  I just haven’t done the work.  No to be fair, it isn’t realistic to be 100% but it is also super slacker to only be at 50% too.

I was having coffee with some good friends a few weeks ago and they were asking me “what do you want your life to look like?”.  The fact is, I didn’t have a good answer.  I had some higher level goals (financial stability, happiness, being a good father) but the picture was really muddy.  I’m a type A, super planner by nature.  I love to create a spreadsheet and weigh the pros and cons.  I love to check things off a list and I love to make plans.  Somewhere in the last four or five years I have become pretty lame at executing the plans.  There have been a lot of 50% efforts.

Maybe a week in the deep freeze was exactly what I needed.  I got to spend a little time looking at what I really am trying to accomplish and more time getting hit in the face with the sobering news that I’m not actively trying to accomplish most of it.  That realization was much more chilling than anything the snow could have presented.  One of my list items is to write more and another is to build a new website.  So that makes for easy accountability because it is easily tracked.  So guys, kick my butt and help me be a better blogger and stay tuned for something totally different on the new website!

Ciao

SK

We didn't build it, but it was a well done snowman!
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‘Tis the Season

Sleighbells ring, are you listening?

This is such an amazing time of year.  Families are getting together, presents are being exchanged, traditions are being established, and generally everyone is merry.

In my personal circles we use the term “season of life” to describe where someone is in their world.  This could be high school or college, young couple, empty nest, job transition, or anything.  It is said that seasons change:

In the same way that winter comes to an end so does the time of raising young children, starting a new job, or getting remarried.  Have you ever been in a season that felt like it was 20 winters long?  It is always the great seasons that seem to be the shortest.  When you are in adverse conditions it is so, so long and the light at the end of the tunnel is so, so faint.

I am notoriously not a huge holiday season fan.  It is just too big and too showy.  All the presents and traveling and fruit cake confuses the true meanings of this time of year.  This year I’m particularly bah humbug on the season because frankly it has been a yucky year.  Life transition has totally kicked my tail.  I don’t think I have ever been more excited to see the calendar turn.  Now this season hasn’t been all bad.  I’ve found who in the world really loves me and has my back and I’ve found my spirit.  I’ve strengthened my relationship with God and my spirit is really lifted.  As in any cold winter, there are rainy days.  As in any scalding summer, there are cool evenings sitting on the porch.  Those bright spots were great and they have gotten me through this.

OK stop crying.

So as I wind down 2010, I am looking forward to this next chapter.  I’m not getting any younger and I don’t have nearly as many seasons left as I did ten years ago.  This is not a time to preach resolutions or sweeping life change but rather to think about coming out of the dark winter.  And to appreciate that in order to have spring, I must have that winter.  So that’s what I’ll do.

 

Ciao

 

SK

25 things

Last January there was a Facebook phenomenon called “25 things”.  The basic idea was for you to write 25 random things about yourself and publish them to the Facebook world.  It was a super neat exercise.  I learned so many deep things about my friends and many random funny things.  People are fascinating.  And these are just the people in my life.  My friends have traveled the world, delivered babies, met famous people, and seen remarkable things.

So as an exercise I decided to reread my 25 things and see what I could learn about myself:

1. It took me way too long to realize what is really important in life

  • This one hurts because I’m living the results of missing the boat for so long.  I’m glad I am finally getting some perspective, but I look at all the wasted years and just shake my head.

2. I love public speaking and wish I could do it for a living.

  • This is still true.  I have recently pulled a lot of my books about “the business” of professional speaking.  I have a lot of natural talent, but that is far from enough to make a living doing it.

3. I never thought I would ever coach Seaver in a sport, but I have found that there are few things more enjoyable than being around him and his friends learning a sport.

  • If you have been around this blog at all, you know how much I love those kids.  I have also found that it is the purest form of service and entertainment for me

4. I am great at starting things, but not as good at finishing them.

  • Still an issue.  I am actively working on this.

5. I am sad I didn’t have a “normal” family when I grew up

  • I have realized over the last year and a half, how hard this really effected me.  It really messed with my wiring.  The good thing is I have really gotten closer to my brothers over the last year.  I can’t imagine what it would have been like if we had started on a good note.

6. I am so much better off than I deserve

  • Amen!  My God is a good God and has my back.

7. I didn’t think I would like FB, but it has really reminded me of how many great people I have in my life.

  • See my note on thing number 6

8. My wife makes me laugh all the time.

  • She is now my ex-wife, but she still makes me laugh a lot

9. I have an addictive personality and constantly have to work to stay on track.

  • One day at a time.  It works if you work it.

10. My two dogs are angels on earth, Thanks God

  • One of those dogs has gone to heaven to be with God.  That was a hard decision to make to put him down.  The other dog was sad but he now has a little puppy to keep him young along his side

11. I can’t remember my mom or dad ever saying they loved me.

  • I can safely say that I still don’t remember if they said it, but I have forgiven them.

12. I am a very picky eater and have rules for most things I do eat.

  • It sucks being a picky eater, but it still hasn’t kept me from being a little too heavy.

13. I wear a mouthpiece at night so I don’t snore.

  • Still true

14. In my allegiance hierarchy it is UGA then FSU

  • Glory, glory to old Georgia!

15. I wish I had played football in HS

  • Watching Seaver play and love the game is a pretty good plan b though 😉

16. Before I get to old, I want to do one more step show with my KKPsi crew

  • Come on fellas, let’s make it happen!

17. Right now my favorite artists are Sugarland and Jay-Z, I continue to confuse myself

  • Current confusion is the new Eminem and Lady A

18. It’s hard for me to really trust someone.

  • Still hard, but I think I finally realize that I WANT to trust people.

19. I still hang out with my core crew from my childhood

  • MOFO fellas!  I love you guys

20. I have 0 style

  • Nope, not smooth at all.

21. I can’t believe that my “church home” is rock and roll and video screens

22. My wife is the best thing in my life

  • She gave me the most amazing little boy ever, even in divorce she’s an amazing woman.

23. I have a fear of not being successful

  • I constantly battle feeling like I’m a failure.  I need more perspective as to what I am really doing.

24. Seaver is perfect

  • Still perfect, just smarter, taller, faster, sweeter, and funnier!

25. Since my surgery I have a new appreciation for just being able to go out and play

  • I also have an appreciation for how easy it is to get hurt (which reminds me, I need to go stretch).

Facebook people, go read yours again and see what you learn about where you were and where you are now.

Ciao

SK

2nd Grade

This is the last week of summer before Seaver goes back to school.  He is going to be a 2nd grader this year.  Obviously, I can’t believe that my little noodle boy is no longer crawling and sucking on his fingers and can now read and is a veteran of the first day of school.  I just don’t know where the time went but I couldn’t be prouder watching him grow up.

Second grade has some dad significance too.  As I have told people my entire life, second grade changed the course of my life.  Now as you snicker, just stick with me for another 300 words or so.

Growing up in my neighborhood school was something everyone did but it was far from a cornerstone of the daily fabric.  Of course everyone’s parents sent them to school and wanted them to “pass”, but in my neighborhood most of the parents worked and many of us had most of our primary care provided by grandparents.  I was lucky to have won the genetic lottery for smarts (I missed out on the cool and stylish lottery winnings though) and have been blessed with having a naturally high intellect (in other words, I was a born nerd). Having the capacity to do and doing are two different things.

Mrs. Cornish took it upon herself that year to put me in three person reading group with my first grade buddy Rob and a Sri Lankan boy named Kanishka.  We had our own little united nations going in there.  That year I not only learned a lot and started friends that I still have to this day, but I also learned a lot about being me.  I didn’t have to be like the kids in my neighborhood and I also didn’t have to be just like the kids at school.  I was a piece of both worlds and there was no reason to hide or be ashamed of either of them.

I get the pleasure of running into a lot of my teachers around town.  Many of them had HUGE impacts on me and the person I have become, but it all started turning the right direction when a teacher took interest in a snotty nosed kid with an afro.

I am sure we all have a great teacher or coach or friend that moved our lives in a certain direction.  I believe that God puts those people in our way on purpose.  By that logic, it means that most of us will be that person to somebody at some time during our lives and probably will never realize it or even realize the impact that we made.  But I don’t think any of us live to be a life changer I just believe that most of us have a lot to share and there is someone out there that really needs what we have.

Thanks Mrs. Cornish and thanks to all the Mrs. Cornish’s in your life too!

Ciao

SK

The mirror

So what do you see when you look in your mirror?

Looking in the mirror is such a passive exercise.  We all do it several times a day when we brush our teeth, shave, put contacts in, wash our hands, or double-check our outfit.  We look in mirrors as we pass them in stores and some of us have them in our purses and cars to make sure there isn’t any unsightly spinach dangling from your incisors.

We are also a society that loves mirrors.  Well actually we just like watching, which kind of makes us all mirrors for each other.  People have plastic surgery to look better in the mirror.  We get new haircuts and stylish glasses to be better mirror-folk.  A lot of us get our self-image based on what that mirror says about us in contrast to what it says about your next door neighbor or your sibling.

The mirror doesn’t lie!

You may be able to put makeup on over a pimple, but that black head is still there and its staring at you in the mirror.  We live in a world of image management.  That face you have when you wake up in the morning is you, not the one that appears after a shower, shave, and cologne.  That mirror also doesn’t lie about what’s going on behind the makeup either.

Coming from a place where I have messed up more than my fair share of stuff is hard.  It is hard a lot of times to look myself in the mirror and be proud of what I see knowing all that I know.  Someone told me once that the hardest person to earn forgiveness from is yourself.  I think that’s 100% true because in my case I try so hard to put makeup on my blemishes so I don’t have to “see” them.  As they say I live on a river called denial.

So the only real alternative is to strip some of the makeup away and try to deal with the crooked teeth.  The last few months I have really been working on having an honest evaluation of me.  Now if you have never tried to do it, I found it harder than expected.  It was hard to look at all my mistakes which made it even harder to acknowledge my successes.  Taking personal responsibility for where you are is pretty easy when you aren’t really being realistic about where that is.

So here is a brief public inventory

  • I’m 36 and divorced (and I firmly believe the divorce was my fault)
  • I have roommates and have packed my life into a 12 x 15 room
  • I’m waaaaay too heavy, despite my clothes still fitting (I’m going to have health issues if I don’t do something)
  • I’m scared to death to really chase my dream because I have failed at so many other things
  • I’m lonely
  • I’m mad and bitter

Ok so now that everyone is either a) crying or b) telling me its going to be ok or c) wondering why I’m having a pity party, let me go to the rest.

As we know the mirror doesn’t lie and it will show and tell you when things get better.  You may not notice you are in better health and then one day your face will look 10 yrs younger.  It takes time and that’s always been the hard part for me.  I want it instantly and because of that I have always had a hard time seeing things through to completion.  But one thing I am is determined and I refuse to give up with those bullet points being on my headstone.  So onward ho!

Oh yeah, here’s a present:

Ciao

SK

Black Wednesday

So I am sure it doesn’t mean much to a lot of you, but this week was black Wednesday.  This is not really an official day, but it is a garbage day for those of us that are sports fans.  There is NOTHING was going on in the sports world.  When I say nothing, I mean NOTHING.  The best I could find was the ESPY’s and some garbage WNBA basketball.  But the good thing about black Wednesday is that I know that the summer is almost over and the 2010-2011 sports calendar is on the way.  So I pulled out my whistle and started thinking about my kids…

Let's get ready to rumble!

I have the privilege of being a youth sports coach.  The first year that my son played little league I was lucky enough to get paired up with a couple of great guys and I quickly fell in love with being out there with young kids.  I really love baseball, it was my sport growing up.  I love watching him get better every year.  But it was football that really got coaching into my blood.

Seaver’s first year he was one of the young ones on the team and one of the little ones.  We had an amazing group of kids and parents that year.  And watching my baby boy grow up before my eyes was awesome.  I was able to help with practices and substitutions during games and I discovered it was almost as fulfilling watching ALL the kids get better.  Last season I was lucky enough to be the head coach for our 5 & 6 yr old team.  Those kids were awesome!

So here we are on the eve of packer football 2010.  It should be a fun year, I’ll be an assistant this year, helping with personnel, special teams, and the second teamer’s.  We should be pretty doggone good-by the end of the year, but it really isn’t about how good we are but rather how great those boys and families are.

The 3 Amigos

The two guys I’ve had the pleasure of coaching baseball with are awesome.  It is the friendship that our boys have formed that really makes these three years extra special.  One of the best things about playing team sports is the friends that the kids make.  I just couldn’t imagine what it would have been like without watching him grow up with two kids that aren’t just good ball players, but wonderful, respectful, loving boys.

So even though Wednesday was dead, it signals the beginning of what I am certain will be another great sports year.  We may win some trophies or lose them all.  But I am sure that the kids will be great, friendships will be built, and families will join together and cheer.  That’s why I love it!

Ciao

SK

I love this stuff!

Don’t call it a comeback…

…I’ve been here for years.  Well maybe not quite years, but it was a good title to jump back into this thing.

Ok so I know you have all been sitting on pins and needles waiting to see what kind of brilliance I come up with (here is where you yawn or laugh or stop reading).  I’ve been in the basement.  Well not the literal basement but the basement of life.  And not super depressed basement, just off the grid.  Sometimes in life we have to stop and change direction and sometimes, life changes it for you.  Life decided to make it happen for me this time.

Saving everyone from all the details, I’ve had a family change, a housing change, a job change, and a perspective change.  Through all that I have come to one great conclusion…

EVERYTHING IS TEMPORARY

Hence I’m repurposing this blog.  I tried to make it fit a niche before and now I’m going to let the niche be me.  Carlos Whittaker’s blog is awesome.  He is real and authentic and all over the place.  He is true to who he is and still gets his message across.  So I’ll give doing just me a shot.  So sometimes you are going to get sports posts and sometimes you are going to get life posts and sometimes it is going to be about tv or books or politics or whatever in the world you get.    But all of these things are temporary but at the same time temporary is forever.

We all know life is a journey.  But I’ve learned over the last year that journey is nothing more than a lot of moments.  It is those moments that make it fun, depressing, exciting, exhilarating, and sometimes frustrating.  But when we are in those moments, they feel like forever.  So here I am, in this moment, contemplating forever…

So who knows what you are about to get.  I just hope you come back and sign up for updates and keep reading.  I actually like doing this, it keeps my creative juices flowing.  Please return your tray tables and seat backs to their full upright and locked positions, we are about to land!

Oh yeah, enjoy the original…

Ciao

SK